An American Fable

It was Veteran's Day and Harold W. Miller was taking his great-grandson Tyler on a day-long tour of the Nation's capitol.

Up and down the Mall they would walk, just the two of them. To the Jefferson and Lincoln and Washington Memorials, as well as to those honoring U.S. veterans, like himself, who had served in WWII and those who had served in the Vietnam War. Harold hoped if they got an early enough start, they'd make it to both the Capitol and the White House.

So, they lighted out of their hotel room as the sun broke up over the Potomac and stopped at the Mocha Hut, a little cafe on 14th & K Harold remembered for having the best almond bear claws he'd ever eaten. Plus, there was a pretty good view of the Capitol Building from the sidewalk tables; a good place for their day's journey to begin.

Harold had his usual, no matter where he was, coffee, hot, black. Ty, his grandson David's boy who would turn sixteen a week from Friday, ordered a large mocha. Grandad grabbed each of them an almond bear claw, and saw a table open beside the brick planter at the opening to the outdoor seating area. They grabbed it.

As the two looked over a map and list of sites they'd found at the conceirge's desk at the hotel, they heard two men sitting at the table behind them arguing. Each worked for members of the House of Representatives and one was trying to get one to vote for some Bill that was coming up on the floor.

"Come on...", the one man told the other. "This is a good bill and will help a lot of people".

"But what's in it for my guy?", the other asked. "Yeah, it'll probably be great for business start-ups in our district. But you know he's not just going to give his vote away. He's going to either want the Whip to come and do a fund raiser for him or get him at least ten grand in PAC money, otherwise, he'll shop the vote on K Street".

Ty looked at his great-grandad as he listened to the two men and was surprised Harold didn't turn around and give the two a piece of his mind. Ty had spent many hours with the old man since his dad had been killed in Fallujah, and knew he didn't have much use for politicians. But young man's the silver-haired surrogate just popped the last bite of bear claw into his mouth, folded up the map and said, "Well, let's hit it!". And off they went...

As they headed over towards the Mall, they passed by the Supreme Court building. There were about 200 protesters out in front, walking as Ty had seen on tv, in a big circle, carrying signs and chanting something in semi-unison. From what the two could gather, there was a case going on inside that had something to do with whether or not businesses should have the same rights as people. Before he retired, Harold had been a very successful corporate executive and remembered how in the raccous debates at family gatherings, he had heard this man take the side of business and in his big, booming, baritone voice, make the case that business was the heart that fed the economic blood to the nation, and without them, we would surely fall. But as the two invisibly passed by the gargantuan marble steps leading up to the columned halls, Harold said nothing.

The two men arrived at the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial and headed straight for Panel 114, Section F. There, they found engraved in the glossy black marble stone, the name Harold W. Miller, Jr. Harold's son (Ty's grandfather) had been killed just outside of Saigon in 1968, and every year that the memorial had been here, Harold came to this very spot on Veteran's day, to remember and honor his son. Both his son and grandson had been lost in combat, and while Harold would give anything, including his life, to be able to have either one of them back, every day, and especially today, there could not, he thought, be a father more proud of his son or grandson, than he was of his.

On most mornings, as he pulled himself up and out from under the covers of his bed and sat on the edge of the mattress to collect his thoughts for the day, he always remembered that, no matter what this day would bring, he would accept if gratefully, because it had most likely been made possible because of the sacrifice made by his progeny.

As Ty and Harold sat on a bench near their section of the Memorial, two college students walked by.

"Man...look at all these guys who died for The Man, gave it all up so some Fat Cats in the Military Industrial Complex could get rich. Was like that in World War Two, In Vietnam, In Iraq. The Man sends our guys off to war for nothing. This country sucks!".

Ty's head jerked towards the man he immediately deemed an asshole and started to get up. Now he wa talking about his dad, who didn't die for nothing, and Ty was pissed.

Harold grabbed his great-grandson's elbow and looked up at the young man, smiled, and shook his head. "Naah, let it go, son", Harold said. We've still got a lot of ground to cover.

Throughout the remainder of the day, the Ty and Harold walked what seemed like the length and breadth of D.C. They had lunch on the back steps of the Jefferson, over looking the Potomac and the Pentagon as it sat, confidently, and stood guard like the old soldier it was, and enjoyed an old-fashioned tastee freeze swirl from the top step of the Lincoln, as they looked back along the length of the Reflecting Pool. Harold told Ty about the many great gatherings that had been held in this very spot; the Civil Rights March in August of '63, where Martin Luther King gave his "I Have A Dream Speech", and the numerous anti-war rallies while his father was serving in Vietnam. Ty could only think of the scene in Forrest Gump.

The day ended, as planned, with Ty and Harold taking a taxi to Arliington National Cemetery, where they visited the graved of Ty's dad and grandpa Hank. Harold always loved to come here on Veteran's Day, because the military and Park Service always had the grounds looking so taught and ship-shape, and he liked to believe they were always kept that way. Harold and Ty talked about each man as they stood at their headstones, remembering what was most special about each. It brought both to tears, but in the end they were nothing but proud as they headed back to the car.

As they walked, Ty mentioned how he was still angry with the guy who had been popping off aout his dad and the Vietnam War; how the guy had obviously never worn a uniform and if his dad were here today, 'he'd have kicked his ass'!

That was just as they were comming up on the graves of Jack and Bobby Kennedy and, as the sun began to lower itself into the wall of birch and willows that surrounded the cemetery like an evergreeen fortress, most of the visitors had left for the day, Harold placed a hand on the young man's shoulder and suggested they sit for a minute. Taking a seat on the stone benches just in front of the Eternal Flame that burned at the grave of the Nation's 35th President.

"No Ty, your dad wouldn't have kicked that guy's ass", he said, in a low, loving tone. "Something's bothering you", he stated. "Spill it".

Ty looked at his great-grandad half-angry that the old man wasn't as pissed as he was. "I don't understand you today, Sir...", Ty said. Ty had been raised right and regardless of whether or not he agreed with grandad, he always respected him.

"When we were sitting at that coffee shpo and those two guys were gong on about what they were going to trade for a vote on a Bill. I KNOW you Sir, I KNOW you don't agree with all that crap, that's what's WRONG with this country, eh damned politicians...I've heard you say it a thousand times. But you didn't say a word to them".

"Then that asshole, pardon my language, Sir, but...I so wanted to just kick that guys ass. How can he talk like that against the wars that you and grandpa Hank and Dad fought in, and they died for, and...how can yo not be angry about that? I just don't understand..." As his great-grandson finished his tirade and proceeded to calm down, Harold watched the flame illuminate President Kennedy's grave and noticed there was no one else there.

"Well...", he began. Harold sensed the solemnity of having the National Cemetery to himself and sat up a little taller as he felt he was not only speaking for himself but for the tens of thousands of others who ersted here...and for his sons.

I guess I don't get angry because, in the end, it doesn't really serve a purpose. You see, Ty, I've always believed, as my daddy believed and my son and grandson believed and as I hope someday my great-grandson will believe, that nothing, besides God Almighty, is stronger than America. Not just the physical land, or the people who live here, but the ideal of what America is all about.

Let's look at those guys at the coffee shop this morning. Underpaid staffers who aren't reall in a position to make any kind of a difference, just doing a job. And there are lots of them. Too many. But here's the thing...our nation was built with a set a principles and laws and people like those two will come and go, and yeah, our government has pretty much become a joke, but because of how it was put together, and how it is maintained, we'll always be able to keep it from going too far. You just have to have some faith.

As for the guy at the Vietnam Memorial, yeah he was an asshole. But instead of being angry at him, I feel sorry for the son of a bitch. He'll never know, never understand what we know. That there are two types of Americans; those that enjoy the freedoms and rights and opportunities our nation provides its citizens...and those who provide, protect and defend them. And that's as it should be. Our family's always been the providers. And that's not easy to do, because the most important thing those of us on the "provide side" have to remember is that in a lot of cases we're providing these things to the people we most disagree with.

You see Ty, being an American isn't an easy thing. It's advanced citizenship and it's tough. You gotta want it. You've got to be willing to stand up and shout at the top of your lungs, or go to war, to defend the rights of a guy who is shouting at the top of his lungs, in support of something you have fought against your whole life.

It's like with this whole thing about that Muslim Cultural Center they want to build in New York. Do I want it to be there? No, I'd rather it wasn't. Do I support the people who are speaking up against it? I understand why they feel the way they do, because I feel the same way. But here's where the difference comes in, Ty. While i don't want it there, I think it needs to be there".

Ty looked at his great-grandad, wanting to understand, but not quite getting it.

"The next time you get a chance Ty, take a couple of hours and read the Cosntitution. The Constitution, the Bill of Rights, none of our founding documents were written on behalf of "what most people want"; it was never intended to empower the majority. Our nation was created to protect the rights and freedoms of the minority, of the little guy. Why do you think we all love to see the underdog win? Because we were once ALL underdogs.

In the end, it's not important which party is in power, who wins an election, or any of that stuff. Yeah, people should all participate in the political process, should all voice their opinions and write letters and protest when they see someting they don't agree with. But after it's all said and done, the foundation of our country will always right itself and keep us on course.

"And in the meantime", he said as he stood and put his arm around the shoulder of his great-grandson and together they walked toward the cemetery's front gate, "people like my father and your grandpa and your dad and the millions of men and women over the years, and the millions more for years to come, forever and ever, will stand and fight. They'll defend what our country is all about. They'll stand up for the guy who hates what I and your dad did, and they'll stand up and fight for what you and your kids think and believe in, even if it's not what they do themselves.

It's not the little temporary results that's important, Ty. It's the process that's important, because it's the process that makes America special, it's what makes it work.

And, he said as the two men slowed when the reached the top of the cemetery hill, "it's what has and always will make us proud to defend it".

Harold Miller looked into the eyes of his great-grandson Ty and smiled. It was a prideful smile, that came from the knowledge that he had been raised and had raised his son, who raised his son, to believe that theirs was a calling of the highest order. To defend their nation, to continue to make the values of liberty and freedom accessible to everyone, and to defend those ideals against any who would lessen those freedoms by even an nth degree. And it was a smile that today came from the thought that maybe he had done his part in helping to instill that pride in Ty.

Looking at one another, Harold and Ty could feel the righteous dignity and honor that surrounded this hallowed ground, the way a mother eagle surrounds her young; fiercely protective and eternal. And Harold didn't have to wait long to find out if his words had hit home with his young charge.

Ty looked out from the vista at the tens of thousands of shimering white headstones, all neatly aligned as if ready for one final inspection. He had never been more proud; not only of his great-great-grandfather, or his great-grandfather, his grandpa, or his dad, but of every man and woman who had ever worn the uniform and stood to ptotect HIS freedoms. For the first time, he truly realized what it meant and how fortunate he was to BE an American, and maybe even more importantly, to be able to someday take his place among those to work and fight and sacrifice and die to help that continue for others.

"Thanks, grandad", he said as he looked at the old man who stood with a tear in his eye.

As they turned to leave, Ty glanced back at the cemetery and all of the fallen who now rested, and thought in his heart, to all who have served this great nation...


"Thanks guys".

Good Games, Bad Games

Well, it's finally over...50+ years of great players on good teams, a few great teams, who just couldn't get over that last little hump. The San Francisco Giants are finally...the very best team in baseball. Bar none. A cast of incredible characters; good solid defensemen, some timely bats (NO Lazyboy recliners in the clubhouse), and a baby-face anchor behind the dish leading one of the very best top-to-bottom pitching staffs in the last 40 years (ALL under contract for at least another four years!) left no doubt. These boys are the real deal and will be around for many years to come...The Championship Parade begins at Washington and Montgomery at 11AM tomorrow, heads south to Market, then turns up towards City Hall, where Mayor Gavin Newsome will present the team with a key to the City. I'll be leaving for the festivities from the Pleasanton BART station around 9ish, so if you want to join me, meet me there...

Whiners beware...I have a few friends who simply refuse to give any teams other than their own the credit they deserve. At the end of the baseball season, one in particular provided constant FB posts were all about how the Braves were going to crush the Giants. Then after they manhandled the Braves and headed for Philly, it was "now you're going to face a real team", forgetting to acknowledge that his Cincinnati Reds were now couch-bound, having been swept three straight in the first round. During the entire NLCS, everytime a Philly passed gass, he was posting..."Yeah, now watch the Giants fold" and other such nonsense. Even last night, when a mutual friend posted "Now we've got a ring!", he posted "Yeah...1", as if to say, ONLY one, but look how many my team has. You just have to feel sorry for people who can't acknowledge accomplishment. Well, right now, and for the next year, MY San Francisco Giants ARE the best team going. Period...

From The 'Oh Yeah" Dept: In case it got lost among all the Championship hubub, today is Election Day. And those of you who visit the Lounge would probably call the paramedics if I didn't address this fact, so here are a few thoughts...

Ears Are Important Too...like many, I am so very tired of the staunch bickering, nay-saying, "I'm absolutely right / you're absolutely wrong" arguing. Debate is fine, disagreement is expected, even a little snarkiness every so often can be understood. But I believe the one biggest problem all of us, from the elected elites in D.C. to the milk men and accountants and everyday folk have is that we, almost by habit, refuse to listen to anyone who has a differing viewpoint. This continues, and we're all doomed...

Nostradamus Redux: It looks like Brown, Boxer, and McNerney will win. Porbably Pelosi too, although I'm holding out hope she gets rightfully bounced. I long ago accepted that most politicians are out for themselves, but she doesn't even hide it well and she wouldn't know well constructed law if it sucked all the Botox out of her forehead. Fortunately, if she does lose, she'll probably resign all-together, as her predecessors Hastert and Gingrich did, so that's an extra added bonus for voting against her. The Reid/Angle contest in Nevada is truly the hardest to call; not because it's close but because both candidates are so pitifully unqualified for the job, which is saying something since Hotel Harry has been the Senate Majority Leader for several years now. But while Reid is a straight partisan guy, which is exactly what every congressional district needs to get rid of, his opponent, Tea Party jack-wagon Sharron Angle is so woefully incompetent and unknowledgeable about anything past her soundbite talking points, she makes Sarah Palin look like a Stanfoo professor. God help us, every one...

The Final Countdown...there aer a couple of old, dear friends I have ben politically sparring with for the better part of six months, mostly through that nemesis of time management, Facebook. They are good Americans, who love their country and truly believe that their "just right of Atilla the Hun", Tea Party, anti-Government, hell-bent-for-leather political posturing is exactly what this country needs. And while I fully and vehemently support their rights to hold and express these opinions and would be the first person to stand beside them should anyone try to keep them from excercising these rights, the fact of the matter is that, people from either side of the political spectrum who, as they do, refuse to accept anything other than the complete annihilation of opposing viewpoints and policies, render themselves irrelevent and so, after long, arduous debate, I have decided to leave them to their dillusions.

That said, I would like to offer them a final note of reality, in the hope that it makes the inevitable a little easier to swallow...

The political game, be it in Sacratomato or Washington D.C., is past the point of no return. The job of the elected official in our country has de-evolved from one purpose (representing their constituents) to two (Getting elected and getting re-elected). The rest is all just window dressing. I do not offer this sad mea culpa as anything other than a precursor to what you will someday realize yourselves: Regardless of which party holds office, no matter what percentage of "professional politicians" get bounced to the curb today, even if the Dems were to lose control of both houses of Congress (not likely), nothing significant will change. For today's politicans are no longer made up with the intestinal fortitude of Washington, the "country before party" determination of Lincoln, or the "ask what you can do for your country" enthusiasm of Kennedy. Today, they are almost all born of the cloth of P.T. Barnum, believing there is a sucker born every minute.

And to follow blindly behind the rhetoric and chutzpah of the Karl Rovians of the Tea Party, just as those on the left drank every drop of the Obama kool-aid two years ago and let the solutions to the massive problems left us by the previous administration go unchecked, it will only further prove Mr. Barnum's point, and drive our nation further and further from where it began, all those many years ago.

Now...what's on YOUR mind?

The First of Novembeard...

This weekend at a social gathering of the "old guard" (read: pre-Live Nation) employees of Bill Graham Presents, the former head of Ambience Control, Lance Miller, asked if I had given up the Three Dot Lounge. With all the life changes in the last six months, I hadn't really thought about it much (except following a similar inquiry from my friend Coz a few weeks ago), but during my evening drive back from Coventry Grove, I did and have decided. The Lounge is now back open for business...

TRICK OR TREAT: Watching the Giants' telecast last night, I saw my favorite Meg Whitman commercial of the Fall Comedy Season; the one where she smiles and touts that "thirty years ago, my husband and I came to California, because it was the land of opportunity and literally anything was possible. THIS was why we came to California!", she offers with a glowing smile. I am guessing the formerly employed nudnik who wrote that ad forgot to check to see who was the Gov back when California was such a fantabulous place, full of promise and prosperity. None other than Jerry Brown!...A dear 'not-so-old' friend, Debbie Clair Liebert (of the Brentwood Lieberts), reports they had 1,473 trick or treaters come a knockin' at their door last night. So kibosh what they say about the failing education in our public schools. These kids were obviously taught the big lesson from the Watergate era: "follow the money"...

AND THE AWARD GOES TO: Speaking of tricks and treats, my favorite line of the night comes from a darling little thing who couldn't have been more than three. Knocks on the door, parents handily in tow, adorned in nothing ghoulish or otherwise special, carrying a medium sized beaded purse. Upon hearing her confident demand for "tricks or treats, please" (the politeness of which instantly made me fall in love with the little tyke and hand her three Reeses instead of a lone Kit-Kat), I inquired, "Where's your costume?". "I was a ghost, but I tripped and fell twice", she replied as she answered, somewhat annoyed. "It's wasn't working for me"...

A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION...Each year I try to pay attention and make note of the date on which I see the first Christmas ad on television. Requirements: it must show Santa, an xmas tree, use the word Christmas or have a familiar jingly holiday song in the background. In recent years, they have been popping up as early as the last week of September, but I saw this year's first last night, in between the 4th and 5th innings. Ho, Ho, No. Still too early...Hypocrisy 101: This year's big holiday item from The Music Store is a steal and they'll probably go quickly. It's an external hard drive filled with 1,000 of the all-time greatest rock and pop albums (including entire catalogues from most of your faves) and more than 250 direct-from-the-soundboard concert recordings of the top acts from the late 60's through the 70's and 80's, many recorded right here in NorCal. Also includes hundreds of blues, jazz and country recordings, but if you or someone you know is a lover of what is now referred to as "classic rock", this really is a must have. All (including the hard drive from which you can burn your own CD's or load up your iPod or MP3 players) for only $500. For more information, e-mail daj0410@gmail.com ...

FROM THE "IS IT JUST ME?" DEPT: I just received an FB missive from Stockton entrepreneur, positive thinker and all-around good gal, Suzy "Sunshine" Bowers, complaining about the "invasion of privacy" she feels from the incessant robocalls from the politicos. I read through the Constitution and found no provision for others being rude or bothersome, which these intrusions certainly are. Invasion of privacy is when a President directs his minions to listen in on your phone conversations without a warrant. Robocalls are simply a huge inconvenience. Both, however, are reasonable motivations to vote for the other guy, which in the case of the former, a lot of us did two years ago this week!...

HUMMMM BABY...I love my Giants. In fact, I am so supremely confident in their eventual success, I am rather hoping for the killer pitching duel were were promised in Game 1 from both team's respective aces, Messers. Lee and Lincecum, to go into extras but...with Texas coming out on top. Blasphemous? Traiterous? UnAmerican? Perhaps. But I just love watching these guys play ball and am not yet ready for the Season to end. Besides, while he hasn't gotten as much press as The Freak, I think Matty Cain has been the pitching stalwart all season long and I'd dearly love to watch him crush the Rangers to seal the deal AND I'd love to see him do it at home. So, hoping for a great game-tight loss tonight and then Wednesday night's Texas Cain-saw Massacre...

AND FINALLY...This was fun. It's nice to be back here at the Lounge and we're looking forward to continuing to serve up some tasty tidbits for your reading pleasure and contemplation. If you have any thoughts, ideas, suggestions or comments, please offer them up in the box below, and don't forget to tip your waitresses. Great gals all, but I don't pay them much. As always, please forgive the typos and...

What's on YOUR mind?

Good Tuesday

IN THE RELIGION of Basketball, last night's barn-burner of a championship was akin to Moses' parting of the Red Sea or Jesus' feeding the multitudes with five loaves and three fish; proof positive to those who would see, that there is a power greater than our own, and with grit, hard fought determination, some class leadership by both coaches, and just enough "zebra wisdom" to let the boys play, that power produced one of the truly great and enjoyable basketball games in recent memory.

The CBS broadcast wasn't about Coach K and the Duke legacy, nor did it focus on the scandal d'jour or some overdone, heart-tugging insert with numerous camera shots at a nail-biting, single parent. This night was, from beginning to end, about the boys and the game being played on the hardcourt in front of us, and it was truly inspiring.

When I was growing up in high school, I worshipped in my own Church of Basketball. The "roundball godhead" of the day consisted of my own version of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; John Wooden, Bob Knight and Skip Mohatt, respectively. Most everyday, I would head down to the school blacktop that served as my chapel in my "church clothes" (ratty t-shirt, faded gym shorts and sweat-stained, white Chuck Taylor's) and do "the Lord's work"; working on off-ball movement, blocking out for rebounds, and good defensive positioning.

So many of those "team fundamentals" were evident last night in what was close to being, for the observer, the perfect basketbal contest. Throughout the night, I thought about the lessons I had been taught; at Wooden's camp, from Knight's videos, and during those endless, glorious hours on the hardwood, soaking up Skip's genius, offered with the deep, relentless tones of a loving taskmaster.

I am certain all three were, in one way or another, watching last night's contest. Coach Wooden was most likely disappointed with the lack of discipline in shot selection exhibited by the Butler Boys, but applauded their heart and team effort and most surely would have told them aftewards they played like champions.

Coach Knight was probably cheering on his former protege-turned-accomplished master, while hopping up out of his recliner everytime a Duke screen left a man open underneath and wasn't taken advantage of. I hope he didn't strain anything trying to toss his Lazy-boy across the room.

But mostly I thought of Coack Mohatt, looking down from Heaven. Through the raucous crowd, I could almost hear him barking at Butler forward Gordon Hayward to slide over and help out with Duke center Brian Zoubek, or for guard Shelvin Mack to pop that ball down into the post instead of forcing a drive into the paint. And I could see the short white towel fly back into the thrid row everytime the overzealous play of the Bulldog's center Matt Howard landed him another senseless foul.

But most clearly, I saw my beloved high school coach when the game was over. He was, I am sure, smiling. Not because of an exciting game, which it was, or for the hard fought battle waged by both teams, which they did. But rather for the same reason that both Coach K and Butler coach Brad Stevens were smiling as they shook hands after the game, and for the same reason that true lovers of this game were smiling, regardless of who they had in their pool or which team they supported...

because they had just witnessed, in an era of sports, that at all levels is influenced, and many believe tarnished, by PED's and ignoramous management and posse-laden players and all of the other unrelated distractions, a game played, perhaps as purely as any before it. No players arguing with referees, no coaches tantrums, no fights. A good, clean, well-played and intense battle, played the way it was supposed to be played. To the very last second.

The Duke Blue Devils last night were crowned the 2010 NCAA Division 1 Men's Collegiate Basketball Champions. At the end of the game, they had scored more points than their opponents and so it should have been. But think not for a moment there was only one team of championship caliber on that floor last night. I would have been every bit as proud to have been a Butler alum last night as a Dukie.

Maybe even a little more so.

iQuit

THE iPAD RELEASED this weekend and more than 300,000 lemmings were up until all hours Easter morning, loading more than 1 milliom apps onto their new toys. That following a Good Friday evening when thousands who did not pre-order the latest techno-marvel in the "i" series, stood in line outside Apple stores nationwide, hoping to be among the first to own pied piper Steve Jobs' the latest creation . The real marvel though is, at a $499 retial price with a 51 per cent gross margin mark-up, that slides approx 75mil in black ink into the hands of Apple shareholders, in one day. Trying to remember the last thing Microsoft did that was exciting or innovative, am thinking it may be time to call my buddy, stock wiz extrordinaire and former AVHS compadre Jeff Oster, and slide the MSFT into AAPL...

iBULLDOGS...Tonight's finale between #1 seed Duke (Boooo!) and underdog Butler (Yeah!) will either be a disappointing blowout or one of the great sport stories of the new millenium. This was an amazing Tournament with top seeds falling like Republicans who fought the Health Insurance Reform bill. The only thing I'd change about this year's Tourney (other than CAL's early exit) would be that the NCAA move the start-date back so the Tournament can end in March. Not a big deal, but it's like the Super Bowl being played in February or The World Series in November, it's just not right...

iDO...Yours truly got played BIG TIME on April Fool's Day, soon to be re-named MY DAY. First my neice (or is it second cousin - once removed, I can never remember that stuff) Ashley Davison suckered me in, posting ever so subtley on her FB page, that, and I quote, "Can't believe we're getting MARRIED!!! I didn't think I could forgive him until he asked me to marry him!!!!!!! =)", then about an hour later, changed her status from "In a relationship" to "engaged'. I bow in deference to your youthful wit and hereby surrender...

iDON'T...Not to be outdone, former Princess turned SLS, Renee LeVeira Flores, daughter of AVHS '78 grads and highschool sweethearts Rob and Michelle, merely changed her status from "Engaged" to "Single" and left it there, for noodniks like moi to flip a nutty over. Nee tells me that several of her other FB friends called or wrote with concern, two actually offering to pay for counseling services to help bring the two back together. The kicker here was the big wedding shower was held the day before, so it was fresh on the minds of those who know. Touche', Miss Thang! My only response to both of you is to beware. For as the old axiom goes...sometime, someplace, when you least expect it.....BANG! I always repay a debt, including interest...

iWISH...I had never been such an idiot. These are the words that will most likely be rambling around inside the head of PGA pro and philanderer-par-excellance (if there can be such a thing, and pardon the pun) Tiger Woods, who jumps back into real life this week at Augusta, where on Thursday he will play his first competitive round in 144 days. Wise call on Eldrick's part, getting back inside the ropes here. This Tournament is run with such a tight fist and tix are so hard to come by (perhaps the toughest ducat in all of sports) it's unlikely much of a fuss about the former World's #1 player's sex scandal will seen or heard. Here's hoping for a great Tournament...

iLL BELIEVE IT when I don't see it. In a hastily called press conference yesterday, the Rolling Stones announced they will be touring in 2010, perhaps the and their largest concert tour ever. Hard to believe following their last go around which took more than two years and shattered attendance and gross rev records that would have had Bill salivating (and still figuring out ways to do it better). Because the band annouced plans to play virtually nothing from 64-72 (through "Exile...") on this go around, and that the show will include tributes to each of their former band mates, including a one-off song per show with former bassist Bill Wyman joining them onstage, word is that this will be the last hurrah for the Glimmer Twins. If Vegas lays odds, I'll lay 100 smackers that says no way. I can not imagine Keith agreeing to hang it up ever and if this were the Grand Finale, you can bet your bottom dollar Mick would have built up a much more grand presentation, including at least a 6-9 month build up to increase interest (and revenue). Plus, can yo imagine them walking off a stage for the last time withOUT having played Satisfaction? Just wouldn't be cricket, wha?...

iAM GRATEFUL...Yesterday was Easter. And while many get lost in the buffett brunches and egg hunts and chocolate indulgances (guilty on that last bugger!) that surround the day, I AM grateful for what the true meaning of the day signifies. That Our Heavenly Father sent down His only begotten Son, so that our unwise choices and unlearned lessons might be forgiven; that we may repent from our sometimes foolish and hurtful actions, that we too might rise again and be returned to His presence. A greater gift we could not receive and though perhaps undeserved, one we shall continue to strive to be worthy of.

Fool's Gold

EARLY REPORTS...are the city of Walnut Creek survived Tuesday's invasion of a "Spring Break Reunion" made up of women from the Amador Valley High School Class of 1978. With expats coming from as far as Davis, California, Thornton, Colorado, and Las Vegas Nevada, some city officials had predicted chaos and catastrophe similar to the infamous Castlewood Ice Blocking Incident of ''99. In two puzzling and perhaps related matters: a rash of thefts of John Mayer t-shirts and other memorabilia related to the pop & blues tabloid star were reported by retailers all along the 680 corridor and 27 pairs of "Dittos" hip-hugger-style jeans were reported missing from the Hidden Treasures Consignment Shoppe on Layden Avenue in Danville. The store's owner, Kitty Featherhead, told investigators that a dozen or so women came in together around 6:15 P.M. and tried on clothes for approximately 30 minutes. When the women left, only hangers for the missing articles remained in the dressing rooms, along with a used tube of rootbeer flavored lip gloss, a fish comb, a receipt for two orders of fries and a Diet Coke from the Pleasanton Jack-In-The-Box on Valley Avenue and a wallet-sized photo of former Amador Valley High typing teacher and freshmen baseball coach Steve Mortara. Police say an investigation is underway...

ONLY IN CALIFORNIA DEPT: The former Malibu beach house of pop-star-turned-mental-deficient Britney Spears was purchased by the SHHHH investment group for 11.3 million dollars. A closing date for the transaction was not announced by representatives of the Los Angeles law firm of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe, who is handling the transaction for SHHHH, but stated that the palacial 3.5 acre estate includes a 16 bedroom, 11 bath mansion in addition to a 2-bedroom guest house, pool, sauna, and tennis courts, will be converted into a halfway house for sex addicts, and the primary investors, former President Bill Clinton, PGA golf proefssional Tiger Woods and reality tv star Jesse James hope to have the deal closed and all work completed on the property no later than August 1...In other news, the State Department announced today that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will begin a six week trip to the Middle East on July 30; Nike announced today that a massive "Respect" campaign featuring Woods, to be filmed in a secret location known only to Woods, the camera man and Woods' personal pilot, will start filming on July 31, and finally, Universal Studios today announced that Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock will begin filming her next project, "Miss Congeniality III: What Are You Nuts?" in New York City between July 28 and September 10. Studio reps who requested anonymity as they were not authorized to speak about the actor's personal life said that Bullock's formerly estranged but recently reunited husband, Jesse James would not be with Bullock during the shoot, as the reality star had "important business matters" in California to attend to...

MOSES IS SPINNING: Wayne LaPierre, head of the National Rifle Association was arrested in Wheeling, West Virginia today of several counts of child molestation, conspiring to manufacture and distribute methamphetamine, and interstate trafficking of minors for prostitution. Asked by reporters as he was being escorted into the Wheeling County Courthouse for arraignment, LaPierre stated emphatically, "Ha! Ha! But they didn't get my guns!" LaPierre is being held for evaluation without bond in a pyschiatric ward...

THIS JUST IN: Idaho Falls School District 91 announced today that due to drastic state education budget cuts, ALL educational field trips, art, music, drama, and vocational training classes, and Advanced Placement courses have been discontinued and all Special Needs Educators, classroom aides, tutors, and school counselors have been dismisssed, effective immediately. In addition, the District has returned or cancelled any and all orders for new and supplementary text books, computer equipment, and classroom supplies. In two related stories, District Plant Facilities Manager, Chester Rooms, told members of the Education Is A Privelage, Not A Right Organization at a luncheon on Friday, that plans to install padded seating on both sides of Ravsten Stadium should be completed in time for October's Emotion Bowl game between Skyline and I.F. high schools and the new weight/sauna/athroscopic therapy room additions to the Grizzly Football Training Center should be ready for Fall practice, provided the installation team from Microsoft can have the new HD screens and digital breakdown software loaded and in place in the newly constructed Gridiron Support Complex and Training Facility by then...

THE SUPPORT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING: Former Alaskan Governor and Repugnant vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin was today unanimously selected as a representative of the Far West Region of Sigma Tau Delta, a philanthropic and social society, of which she has been an active member for more than 30 years. When informed of the honor, which will be bestowed upon her at a week-long celebration in Las Vegas in July, Palin stated "I have been a fan and ardent supporter of STD since I was first introduced to them in high school, and I will do whatever is necessary to share the STD gift with everyone I come in contact with. My mother was an "STD-girl" and I have no doubt that my girls will follow in my footsteps...

AND FINALLY...The San Francisco Giants today reported a monumental trade bringing Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter, third baseman Alex Rodriguez and former CY Young award winner CC Sabithia to the west coast team in exchange for $200,00 in cash and two fourth-round choices in both the 2014 and 2015 MLB draft. Humm baby!

Spring Break Isn't

YES, MOST OF THE KIDS are gone and a week of quiet is always a nice respite. But unless you're a teacher, the much ballyhooed Spring Break isn't for most adults. In addition to trying to make a huge effort to finish mudding, taping and texturing CJ's room and repairing a dainty little chasm in the dining room wall (don't ask!), I have also decided to expand my blog empire.

Today I launched "Ahab's Revenge", a daily look into my seven-week "Targeted Excercise and Metabolism-Raising Menu Program, my effort to finally smote the great white whale I have become since I jumped behind the keyboard of a digital profession some 14 years ago. Tomorrow we will unveil "On Stage Tonight", a once-or twice weekly review of one of the 150 or more live concert recordings I picked up during my days in that industry and (gratefully and joyously) still find in my mailbox in my mailbox from time to time, compliments of friends I met along the way. This will, of course, necessitate a reduction in visits from The Three Dot, but hopefully not too much so. I do love my Lounge...

WHILE LAST FRIDAY marked the annual showing of "The Movie" for our EB 5th graders, the day before brought forth a celebration of another kind; the annual, District-wide, Fifth Grade Musical, "Let Freedom Ring" . Each year, fifth-grade students from all 12 Idaho Falls elementary schools plan, rehearse and prepare for a night of song, and commentary to celebrate the freedoms that being an American affords us all. These amazing young students, with the help of District Elementary Music Specialists Leo Eaton, Kathy Wells, Linda Jones, and Jennifer Korenke selected and performed 12 songs that provided a complete look at just how lucky we are to live in this great land. We'll get some video clips of a few of the highlights posted, hopefully tonight. Check back, because it really is inspiring to see that, all the party affiliation crap aside, our schools are still teaching our kids what is important...

BACKSTAGE PASS DEPT: Though there wasn't enough time to seep through the layers and procure passes for our pseudo groupies Patti and Pam, word is the two had a fab-o time from the sixteenth row at last week's John Mayer show at the HiP. The girls made it back safely to Patti's that night and plans are for a dozen-or-so AVHS Class of '78 grads, all women mind you (the guys never get invited to the good mini-reunions), are getting together tomorrow night at a top secret eatery in WC. Have fun gals, and drive safe...Next up on the Mini-Reunion schedule: '78 grads Rob and Michelle LaVeira-Flores' daughter Renee will be tying the nuptial knot in Lake Tahoe on June 19. Don't be surprised if an impromptu gathering of AVHS alums descend on the CHICAGO/DOOBIE BROTHERS show at the Harvey's Ampitheater that evening...

AND THEN THERE WERE FOUR...Early comments are that Duke 's win on Sunday saved the Final Four from becoming a class in mass boredome and a ratings disaster. I can understand the latter, as the ratings for the last weekend of Madness in March is made up casual fans and office "bracket watchers". The Devils being the only #1 seed to survive, it's a sure bet that without them, the Neilsen Numbers would equal the number of Harry Reid supporters at a Tea Party rally. But boring? Not on your life. That only one top-seed is still on the floor for the final songs at the Big Dance makes this one of the best closing weekends ever. So here's the deal: I'm taking Butler, and let slip the (Bull)dogs of war!...